THINGS I'VE LEARNED SO FAR

Six weeks of Christmas vacation provides one with a lot of things. Netflix binges (as previously stated), extra pounds, and a whole lot of thinking. Thinking about lots of things. But in particular, how weird this stage of my life is. I'm not a kid, but I'm not really an adult. I have responsibilities, but I don't get much credit for them. I'm in love, but people say I'm too young to know that. And life right now is so incredibly uncertain. I feel like I can't plan for anything. All I can plan for is that eventually, sometime in the quickly approaching future, I will be graduating. And then after that? What do I want to do? I don't like deciding what to make for dinner, let alone where I go from here

I'm reading a book right now called The Defining Decade by Meg Jay. It's basically about why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them. It got me thinking (I told you....a LOT of thinking...) about all of the things that I have learned. So as a reminder to myself, I present you with:

1. Even if you tend to be a people pleaser, there are times where you can (and should) say no. 
2. If you don't feel like going out on a Saturday night, don't. Just because you feel like you should doesn't mean you want to. Know the difference. Wanting to watch a movie and get a full 8 hours of sleep doesn't make you a loser. Do what you want to do. 
3. Come to think of it, let's expand on this one. It's important to learn what you like and what you don't like. You might dedicate a good portion of your life to listening to a certain band. Or convincing yourself that you really do like sushi. But there's a very good chance that you might wake up one day and realize that your beloved band sucks (Jonas Brothers, it was a sad, sad realization). And sushi sucks even more. And maybe you like Star Trek. And that nerdy guy with the beard working at the grocery store? You think he's kind of hot. The "cool" things aren't always good, and the "weird" things aren't always bad. Be your own self. Make up your own mind. Life will be a lot easier.
4. When it comes to friends, it's quality over quantity. Unless you're looking to start a flash mob. Then you better get meetin people. 
5. If you're sad, let yourself feel it. Same goes for every emotion. I used to beat myself up if I felt sad or angry about something stupid. Blamed it on PMS or being tired, or whatever current ailment happened to be. But why? If you're feeling something, that's how you feel. Just let it happen.
6. Do the stupid shit. I mean, stay safe. But usually the "stupid shit" makes for the best memories...and stories. 
7. When you get a weird vibe from a potential/current beau, run far. And fast. Learn to trust your gut. Did you hear that, every girl on reality television EVER?
8. On the other hand, when you get a "good, really awesome, constant-butterflies-in-your-stomach" kind of vibe, go with it. Don't let your mind get in the way. You might get hurt, but then again you might not. Give it a shot. 
9. Your parents are usually right. But sometimes they're not. They aren't perfect (sorry, Mom). They're learning just like you are. They don't get a magical book with all of the answers when they have their first kid, they figure it out on the way. They might screw up sometimes, but don't fault them for that. They're trying their best to love you and help you. Sometimes the things they think are the best aren't the best for YOU. So ease up on them. And help them help you.
10. Life isn't a damn fashion show. Want to wear sweatpants to the movies? Do it. Don't feel like wearing makeup? Don't. You don't have to be "on" all the time. Although, it's usually when you're "off" that you run into that one girl from high school...

I wanted some other input, so I asked my best friend Rose if there was something that used to matter to her but didn't anymore. Her answer? "Brand name purses". And there ya have it, ladies and gents. 

SPECIES EXTINCT

Remember how cool mixed CDs were? There was so much meaning behind them. You knew how much your friend loved you based on the frequency of CDs you received, the number of songs on it, and the effort put into the decorating of the blank disc. You also had to make your own mixes with all of your sweet iTunes purchases. I remember the night before I went to get my driver's license, I spent hours perfecting the perfect "First CD of my Driving Career". I must have jinxed myself, because I failed the test the first time. But it went to great use about four days later when I finally received that beloved piece of plastic.

But the absolute best was when you got a mixed CD from a love interest. 15-20 romantic songs from their heart? And you undoubtedly pretended they wrote the lyrics themselves with you in mind, because they might as well have. There was just nothing better.

Sadly, these glorious things have become obsolete. The best you get these days is a playlist on Spotify, and that just seems sort of creepy. I thought about what five songs I would put on CDs for my people if it were still acceptable to give these out. Here's what I've got:

My BFF Rose:
1. That's Some Dream- Good Old War
2.  My Best Friend- Kate York
3. Golden Love- Midnight Youth
4. You Know Me- Air Traffic Controller
5. While The World Let Go- A Rocket To The Moon

David:
1. Something I Need- OneRepublic
2. Can't Help Falling in Love- Ingrid Michaelson
3. I'm Glad There is You- Jamie Cullum
4. No Matter Where You Are- Us
5. Til Kingdom Come- Coldplay

Momma & Poppa & Brotha
1. Father and Daughter- Paul Simon
2. Lullaby- Dixie Chicks
3. Best Day- Taylor Swift (so cheesy, but I had to)
4. Days Like This- Van Morrison
5. Fix You- Coldplay

WHY OH WHY did these things have to go extinct?

RESOLU-WHAT?

The ushering in of the New Year is always a time for making promises to yourself. And if you're anything like me, they become broken promises. Usually by the beginning of February (and that's being generous). So this year I made one and only one resolution: Do more of what makes me happy. Now I know that's super broad and vague, but how easy will it be to stick to it?! And great. Easy and great, a perfect combo. The options are endless, so there is zero chance of falling short. Woo hoo!
But for fun, here's a list of resolutions I would make if I trusted myself to keep them...
1. Stop crying at commercials. With the exception of Google commercials, you can still cry at Google commercials. Only because they are so damn GOOD. But everything is off limits. Get yourself together.
2. You're almost 21. You are an adult. Adding cinnamon to your coffee and milk to your scrambled eggs does not count as culinary brilliance. Broaden your talents a little bit. Starting with that crock pot that you got for Christmas last year that you've used...once.
3. Stop making your fridge a science experiment. If something smells, don't just plug your nose and proceed with caution. CLEAN YOUR FRIDGE. Ditto to the garbage.
4. Reduce the swearing. A lot.
5. No more Lifetime movies. They kill your soul. Not to mention your brain.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Hello, my long lost friends! I have been MIA, which is sort of funny because I was so excited to be posting a lot with my school-hiatus. But...ya know...Netflix happened. Not surprisingly, being more attentive to this here little blog is at the top of my New Years' Resolutions because it really makes me happy. Doing things that make me happy is my numero uno resolution for this year. So stay tuned, you will be hearing a lot more from me. Whether you like it or not!

Oh, and Happy New Year :)

DAY AFTER

As I'm still suffering from a food coma, I thought I would post some pictures from yesterday! 

Baby Liz  

We bought the bottle because it looked cool. Go ahead and laugh

Michael and my aunt

Momma

If only I wasn't a picture-ruiner

Only picture he would let me take with him. Dweeb. Too busy watching football

Cousin Joe 

Wouldn't be a holiday without some of this

 

GOOD NIGHT WORLD

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Now commence the Christmas spirit :) 

GIVE THANKS

Happy Thanksgiving! It's always seemed funny that we have one specific day where we are mandated to be thankful for stuff. Shouldn't we keep in mind what we're thankful for all the time? Except we don't. Myself included. It's so easy to forget how much we have that's good. So of course, I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for having a a family that I want to come home to, spend time with, laugh with and love.

For my goofy ass David. My love.

For the amount of love I get from my friends.

For my health, and my family and friends' health.

For my doggy, who let me snuggle with her for hours yesterday. Probably didn't hurt that I was scratching her tummy. She sure didn't get the shit end of the stick there.

For my education.

For having a job where I get to make a difference to people. And coworkers that make the day fun....and help me fix the copier when it's broken (usually a user error...).

For getting to take a nap in front of my fireplace yesterday.

For the police who came so quickly when someone broke into my apartment the other day. I may have to retract my previous statement on hating cops. Maybe they don't suck.

For Netflix (although they took away seasons 1-8 of Law and Order: SVU. Don't think I haven't sent in a complaint.)

DEAR STRANGER

Last week, I met someone who I will probably think about at least once a day for the rest of my life. I'm kind of using the term "met" loosely. Like, really loosely. As I've mentioned before, I work in my university's Office of Admission. I have two different jobs there, but they're both in the same office. Kind of funky. This particular day, I was working the front desk. A school was taking a field trip kind of thing to DePaul; they were getting an information session and then a tour of the campus. I was sitting there swiveling in my chair (if you tell me you sit in a chair with wheels and don't spin around, you're lying), watching these 7th and 8th graders walk in our front door with an overwhelming sense of innocence and curiosity. Once they all headed into the auditorium to hear from one of our admissions counselors, my eyeballs went back to my computer to finish the email I was sending. A few seconds later, an all too familiar sniffling sound drew my attention back to the door. I saw a girl trailing behind the rest of the group, followed by a teacher. The second I saw her, I knew what was going on: she was dealing with anxiety. She walked into our lobby and was sitting on one of our chairs, scared to death. She was sobbing, begging her teacher not to make her go in the auditorium. They were trying to call her parents to have them come get her, but weren't able to get a hold of anyone. This teacher was growing more and more irritated with her and started to get angry with her. The little girl finally stood up, looked her teacher dead in the eye, and said "You can't sit here and yell at me when you have no idea what is going on inside my head right now. I can't control my anxiety. This is hard enough without you getting mad at me." Those words hit me like a fricken ton of bricks.

This teacher was going about this entire situation in all the wrong ways. I was so close to going over to that lady, telling her to beat it and let me handle things. But I do have an ounce or two of will power, so that didn't happen. Finally her dad came and picked her up, and you could tell she left feeling bummed and disappointed in herself. Her teacher quickly got on the phone with someone who sounded like they also worked at the school. I was rudely eavesdropping, and was DUMBFOUNDED with the way this woman was talking about the situation and the student that she is supposed to be protecting and caring for. I'll spare you the details, but at one point, she said, "She was acting so irrationally and out of control, I can't believe they haven't hospitalized her yet". That is an actual quote, I couldn't make that shit up if I wanted to. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to walk over there and slap that lady across her stupid face, but I was pretty sure assaulting a visitor would have gotten me fired on the spot. I went against my better judgement and let her walk out of the building unscathed. I blew her up in my mind, though. And I'm not even sorry about it.

I watched this entire thing go down from my computer, tears silently falling down my face. On my walk home I called my mom to tell her what I had just seen. I couldn't even get a sentence out before I lost it. The emotion I felt for this girl I didn't even know was so unexpected that I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. I have never seen someone suffering just like I did. I've talked to people who suffer from it, I've read blogs and books, but never have I seen a girl (roughly the same age as I was when things where at their worst) saying the same things I did, acting the same way I did. I even recognized her cry. It was one of the toughest things I've ever had to watch.

I have not stopped thinking about her since that day, and I don't think I will be able to for a while. I wish I could talk to her for a minute. I've thought about what I would say and how I would say it, and this is what I've come up with.

I love you. I know that I am a stranger and that sounds crazy. But I wish I could make this better for you and take this badness away, because it's not fun. I know that you wish you could be "normal" like the other kids in your class who are able to do things without thinking twice. Things that seem so easy for them are so hard for you, and you don't understand why. I want you to know that things are going to get better. The things you are going through right now will make you a stronger and better woman. Someday. 

I want you to know that I'm praying for you. I pray that you have parents who support you and love you and make you happy when you're sad. I pray that you have teachers who are better than the one I saw you with that day. I hope you have someone you can confide in and lean on. I hope there is someone who can offer you comfort, even if it's just for a second. I hope the kids at school are nice to you even though they might not be able to understand what you're dealing with. I hope that one day you will look back on this and say, "I am so glad that's over". But more than anything, I hope you know that this is not your fault. I hope you believe that you are not defected, you are not imperfect, you are not damaged. You are just who you need to be. And that is a wonderful, beautiful girl.

I know she will never see this letter, but I think writing it here is better than never saying it at all.