I CAN'T EVEN

I'd like to consider myself a fairly nice person; everyday I strive for kindness. But no matter how hard I try, there are just some things that drive me absolutely nuts. Some of them, rightfully so; others for no reason at all. While I was at the gym this afternoon, numbers one and two took place right in front of my very eyeballs. It got me thinking about other things that make my blood boil. So here is a thoughtfully compiled list of my pet peeves. If any of the following apply to you, please don't take it personally. I'm sure you're great people, despite the flaws...

1. Girls who wear skanky clothes to the gym. Girls who wear skanky clothes anywhere, really. How is that even comfortable? YOU'VE GOT A ROCKIN BOD. WE GET IT. There is zero need to broadcast an already blatant fact by wearing a sports bra and skimpy spandex while you are barely moving on the treadmill. You make other girls feel really shitty about themselves. So thanks for that. (Only exception: Halloween)

While we're on the gym topic...

2. People who watch other people workout. Why are you concerned with how many calories I'm burning on my elliptical? Keep your judgey eyes away from me and on your own damn machine! My 5.5 mph pace on my treadmill works just fine for my abnormally short legs, thank you.

3. Tourists. I feel bad admitting this one, because it's kind of mean. But I'm sure my fellow city folk can feel me on this one. I understand that you don't know where you're going, you're not on any time frame, and you're busy looking around at your cool surroundings. But I do, I am, and I'm not. When I am running late for class and desperately need to get on the L and fast, please please PLEASE don't stand around gawking at things on the platform. I feel guilty saying this bothers me, because it's kind of like the "freshman effect". We've all been there, we know how it feels to be that confused, excited person; yet when it's not us, we are the first ones to get annoyed. So I should probably work on this one.

4. Joan Rivers on E!'s Fashion Police. She's a big mean bully and her jokes are terrible. She makes me more angry than she should. I think it's because I would really like the show if she had no part in it. Giuliana Rancic is my girl.

5. Cops. I know, I know, this is un-American and wrong on several levels. But they just rub me the wrong way. Granted, there have been a few times that cops really saved the day for me. But what drives me nuts is how hypocritical they are! Going 80 mph to catch up to a guy going 65 and give him a ticket? How in the world does that make any sense. They just seem like creepy little sneaks to me. Plus all the guys I've ever known who are working towards becoming cops have very questionable morals, at best. I guess I'm a little biased.

6. When people don't like my favorite shows, movies, music, etc. Just why? I feel like I have to stand up for whatever it is that I love and sell the shit out of it. "But that ENDING!" Great example: Rose and I recently had a disagreement about "The Place Beyond the Pines" with Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper. First of all, yummy. How can you go wrong with the two best looking males known to womenkind? Secondly, the story line was absolutely phenomenal. The twists, the way the stories of the two characters intertwined, I died. One of my favorite movies of all time, by far. And Rose HATED it. More accurately, she loathed and detested it. I hate to admit it, but I genuinely got angry with her. I was so pissed that she couldn't see how fan-fricken-tastic it was. I got over it quickly, but still. The rage was undoubtedly there.

7. Bullying. Not only is this one of my biggest pet peeves, but I just cannot wrap my head around it. I don't think I ever will, either; I'm not holding my breath. There is NO excuse for it. None. There just isn't. It's cruel and life changing. It is crazy to me what parents allow their children to get away with. Now I'm not a parent, and I don't claim to know how to be one. But there are some things that are just common sense to me. On one of my last quick trips back home, I saw a bumper sticker that said "My kid beats up your honor student". And we wonder where bullying starts. Kids imitate what they see and hear from their parents. I think a lot of times kids don't realize how much damage the things they say and do have on their peers. So many kids are afraid to go to school today because they are afraid they're going to get hurt, laughed at, hear rumors about themselves, the list goes on. It hurts my heart more than anything else in this world.

8. Seeing couples on their phones at dinner. Why?! Who could you possibly be texting for an hour + that is that critically important? Is checking your Facebook or Twitter or Instagram totally necessary at this exact moment? Enjoy the time you have with your significant other! That's why you're dating them. If you can't stand to sit, look at them and have a conversation for an hour and a half, then you probably have some things to re-evalute.

Okay. I think I got it all off my chest. Who am I kidding, that's not even close to all. But it's all I've got for now.

HATE TO SAY IT, BUT IT'S TRUE

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 This post is one I've been trying to figure out how to tackle for a really long time. It's hard to say what I'm thinking without sounding horribly cliché. So I'm just going to go ahead and get the biggest cliché out of the way first: I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. But whenever I'm dealing with a tough situation and someone says this to me, I have a strong desire to slap them. This is why I've debated writing about this for so long. Me saying "Everything happens for a reason, just hang in there" is not going to help anyone going through anything. It's only going to piss them off. So I guess I'm just going to try to defend my seemingly generic stance.

There is not a single thing that I have gone through or dealt with in my life, good, bad or indifferent, that I wish hadn't happened. I'm not going to bullshit you and tell you that there haven't been times where I wished with every single fiber of my being that I was out of the situation I was in. I've prayed for fast forward buttons, undo buttons, miracles. But at some point, you come out on the other side of the hurt. You stop wishing you had gotten into the ONE AND ONLY university that didn't accept you, maybe you don't think about "the one that got away" every day anymore, whatever the case may be. Sometimes you don't even notice that things are better, the hurt sort of just subtly dulls.

I feel like I've been talking about Carrie Underwood a lot lately. But she's so fab, I don't even feel bad. A line in one of her songs that resonated with me is, "As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt, thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved". Ain't that the truth. We always think we know what's best for us. We are so sure of the right significant other for us, the right job for us, the right life path in general. And when things don't go how we saw them going, we get pissed. Because we were entitled to that "right" thing. We deserved that.

Everything I thought I deserved but didn't get, in the end I am always able to realize why it didn't work out. That boy who I thought I was meant for turned out to be nowhere near the person I thought he was. And it has led me to a much different person, thank God. Being rejected by my number one school was heartbreaking, but I came to realize I wanted to go there for all the wrong reasons. And I ended up exactly where I am supposed to be, doing things I never even thought I could do. Friendships ended, but that led to even better ones, and I was able to start to learn who I am as a person. Even my anxiety comes full circle. Like I've said before, I wouldn't wish that time of my life on my worst enemy, nor do I want to redo it. But it made me a stronger person; I am who I am because of that. Even if the only thing you can say on the other side of trouble is "I am stronger for this", I think it's worth it.

I am so in love with where I am in my life right now that there is not a single thing I would have changed, because it might not have led me to where I am right this second. And that would just be a damn shame.

NEW SCHOOL YEAR RESOLUTIONS

This is what my life is going to look like for the next, oh....10 weeks. School is officially back in session, and I'm nowhere near getting in the swing of things. Usually when I finally do, it's just in time for finals. How convenient. This should be quite the interesting quarter, though; I have a full course load, two jobs, a relationship, and hopefully a social life. We'll see how this goes.

But before things start to get really crazy, I thought I'd take a second to come up with a "New School Year's Resolution" list. Honestly, I was very ready to go back to school this year. If you know me, that sentence may come as a bit of a shock. As my mom so endearingly reacted, "Who the hell are you and what have you done with my daughter?" It's funny how different things are in college when you get to do your own thing, make your own schedule, and ENJOY what you're learning.

Even when I hated going to school, I always saw the new school year as an opportunity for change and growth. The night before the first day, I would lay in bed staring nervously at the ceiling, dreading the next day. But in those few sleepless hours, I would always make big promises to myself: finally get an A in science, keep my locker organized, write down everything in my planner, do my homework as soon as I got home from school, go for a run every night before dinner. Usually these were distant memories by the end of September. But I always gave it some solid effort.

This year is no different. Scratch that, it's actually a lot different. I was sleepless the night before classes because I was excited, I had a great outfit planned out for the morning (funny how that will make it so much easier for a girl to get out of bed at 8 AM), and I walked confidently into each class on the first day. What DIDN'T change was my pesky list of resolutions. So instead of letting them drift off into the Land of Forsaken Start of School Promises, I thought I would take a few minutes before things get really hectic and write them down. I feel like I will be held more accountable this way. We'll see if this works...

Liz's New School Year's Resolutions

1. Actually READ the assigned readings for each class. Don't skim, don't skip, read. How brutal.
2. Be more patient with people in group projects. Not everyone is going to have the same work ethic you do, now get over it.
3. Figure out how to balance school, work, boyfriend, friends. It's juggling time.
4. Write everything down in your planner, even the things you think you'll remember. And reference said planner. Or face the wrath of forgetfulness.
5. Wake up each morning and think a positive thought. Even if you only half believe it.
6. Get the promotion at work.
7. Land an internship...then figure out how to add that into the juggling game. 
8. Work out 4-5 times a week. But don't beat yourself up if you don't get there. Just do what you can.
9. Try to eat relatively healthy. But again, don't be afraid of pizza. Or pasta. Or Nutella. Sometimes you just need them to keep trucking. 
10. Keep up with your blog. 
11. Don't stop reading books just for fun. You love that. Don't lose time for it. 
12. Take advantage of more concerts in the city.
13. Take more pictures. Even if you don't think they're good, snap away. It's fun to look back. 
14. Keep your apartment clean. You feel so much better when it is, and you always wonder why you don't keep it that way. Plus it's much more fun to light a candle when there isn't shit everywhere.
15. Let this be the year you stick to your list.